I have nowhere else to be right now.
No other job that needs my attention or time.
So my attention is all yours Little Ones.
You have it.
I accept the job description and all that comes in this season. All other things that used to be my ‘job’ are currently put aside. I won’t see this season as sacrifice or loss anymore. Those other things can wait – but you, Little Ones, will not wait. There is no ‘red man’ at the traffic lights of life for you. You will charge on, growing an inch every day, and I cannot put that on pause.
I don’t want to miss these moments that it is my privilege as a mother to witness. It is only you, Little Ones, who get to call me “mummy”. I will not give that role to anyone else.
So, when you ask me, Little Boy, for the one hundredth time, to play cars with you – I will take a deep breath and put my back into it. Because although it is as interesting to me as watching paint dry, you will not forever ask me to play with you. So I will put my phone – my tool of escapism – aside, and give you my time. Share in the things you treasure.
When you ask me, Little Girl, to come and find the ‘monster’ with you, I will put on my best scared face, hold your little hand, and tiptoe with you to peek around the door as you give that cheeky, nose-wrinkled grin of yours. Mummy will always be there to tackle the monsters with you.
And Little Baby, when I am up in the night again to feed you through closed eyes whilst all else sleeps, I will look at your tiny head and stroke your velvet hair. And I will remember that not all get to do this. It will be gone in a breath.
I will not regret ‘wasting’ my breath on you.